My Weird and Whacky Journey to Parenthood

I was born with a life-threatening congenital heart defect, and spent much of my first four years in hospital battling illnesses. The doctors told my parents just four hours after I was born that I had a 10 per cent chance of surviving my first night. Although the odds got somewhat better throughout the coming months and years, my lungs were extremely weak as a result of the heart condition, and so pneumonia was a regular occurrence. Despite all this, I beat the odds every single time. Now three heart operations later, my condition is stable, but I will never be out of the woods and will need open heart surgery again within the next decade. I am also prone to upper respiratory infections due to a hyper-inflated lobe in my right lung that often makes it difficult to breathe.

Jackie in ICU recovering from her first open heart surgery - October 1988

In addition, I deal with multiple chronic health issues that have directly or indirectly resulted from the heart condition. Growing up I wasn’t able to keep weight on or grow, so I was fed extra nutrition through a tube in my stomach every single night while I was sleeping from age 11 through 20. This, along with my malformed chest wall, has led to a lot of GI issues which can be challenging even on a good day. I was diagnosed with a rare genetic eye condition at age 24, just two months after my most recent heart operation. And at age 27, just three months after meeting my husband, I was sidelined with a severe bladder infection, leaving me with chronic pelvic floor pain that despite numerous treatments, still hasn’t gone away.

Despite all of this, I have achieved every goal I’ve set out for myself in life. I only went to school part-time due to fatigue, but I graduated high school with honours. I got my honours BA after that, talked myself into an internship at a sports radio station that led me to being a news anchor and eventually, an occasional TV reporter. I do modified exercise and I dream of being able to dance one day. I even travelled to Europe and learned how to ride a bike, both just three weeks before I turned 30. Most of all, I met my soulmate in Dennis – someone I never thought would come along because I kept striking out in the dating pool as many men were scared off by my medical history – but Dennis was not. He is one of the most amazing human beings in the entire world in every way. He is patient with me, gentle and kind, and never ceases to make me laugh! We balance each other out and make an absolutely incredible team.

Jackie and Dennis at their wedding, May 11, 2014

Growing up, I always knew that my heart and lung condition meant pregnancy could carry plenty of danger and therefore, my dream of having a child wouldn’t be fulfilled in the conventional way. So when my best friend told me about surrogacy nine years ago – and that it wasn’t just something that Phoebe on Friends did – I began to look into it. Dennis, who already wanted to be a dad well before I entered the picture, was on board with the idea right away. 

After three years of research, and consultations with numerous fertility clinics and special pregnancy doctors, we decided that surrogacy was the best route for us. And although I had originally hoped to use my own eggs, it would have been too complicated and posed way too many health risks in itself. In December 2018, thanks to the efforts of an egg donor we never met but who very much wanted to help us, we created 11 frozen embryos - giving us an excellent shot of having a child, and perhaps even a second someday in the future.

Jackie and Dennis at Waimea Falls, Oahu, Hawai'i in January 2020

But after a heartbreaking experience with surrogacy in 2019, we re-evaluated our options on how to become parents. Originally, this blog was titled #BabyRosenChung2020 because we had hoped our little one would arrive in 2020 and this was to be a celebration of our journey. Sure enough just when we thought we might be out of luck in the midst of a global pandemic, in June 2020 - Father's Day to be exact, I found out I was pregnant! Much to my surprise, my body was able to tolerate pregnancy better than anyone would have ever predicted - although it was NOT easy! 

On February 8, 2021, we welcomed our daughter #BabyRosenChung2021 - now named Hannah - to the world, a lifelong dream finally come true. 

Jackie and daughter Hannah at one week old, February 15, 2021

Thank you so much for visiting this blog. I hope that through my writing, I can help bring about awareness to those with invisible disabilities trying to start a family, whether through pregnancy, surrogacy or adoption.