Clinical risk

This is a huge weekend for us. In addition to me starting a brand new full-time job in a new career field this coming Tuesday, we're also meeting our surrogate for the first time in approximately 48 hours from now. I'm not entirely sure how much of the butterflies I have are from each, but I can admit that I'm a nervous wreck. A huge Toronto Blue Jays fan, I forgot to watch Opening Day festivities on Thursday. I don't even know who the players are this year. I'm dragging myself out of bed at 9:30 a.m. every day and have no idea how I'll adjust to 7 a.m. wake-up calls. I'm checking my phone every five seconds to see if Kay is still coming in, or maybe she'll realize this entire thing is too crazy and seriously, what the hell are we doing? What if I can't get up for my new work in time? Why can't I concentrate on ANYTHING right now? Where is my head?

The reality is, I had another medical issue thrown into the mix over the past few days. It's really no big deal - especially after open heart surgery - but with my medical trauma stronger than ever before and the fact that I can't even take my own temperature without having a total freak-out, it is a big deal. I have to have two of my wisdom teeth surgically removed later this spring. The teeth on my left side have been bothering me for about two months after an overwhelming wave of nostalgia pushed me towards the sale on Fruit Roll-Ups at Loblaws and I decided to stock up on them. Two weeks later, I could barely chew. Good one, Jackie! But the truth is, wisdom tooth removal is something I have been avoiding for at least a decade because every procedure with me is complicated. In terms of dental procedures, I need strong antibiotics even if it's just a cleaning to ensure that I don't get endocarditis, which I've never had but I know it can lead to six more weeks of IV antibiotic infusions - at least that's what I've heard through the grapevine. The wisdom tooth removal will require IV antibiotics throughout the procedure and then a week of oral Amoxicillin. 

The funny thing is, I previously wrote about how no fertility clinic in Toronto was willing to perform the egg retrieval procedure on me because none of them had the specific training or equipment needed should I run into an emergency situation. However, the dental surgeon - who will be removing my pain-in-the-butt teeth in his office and NOT a hospital - does have everything that is required and he reassured me that he along with all of his staff know exactly what to do should the worst happen. So what's the difference? While the dental surgeon told me he can't speak to what fertility clinics do (or don't do), I found it interesting that there was a level of comfort with my condition in this particular clinic, but I was turned away by other clinics in Toronto when the need had to do with anything below the waist. 

While I realize that there were greater concerns than just the procedure itself and the hormone dosage for any IVF cycle would have to be extremely low for me, hearing this left me with a lot of frustration and wondering what the real difference between the two is. Both are procedures that could cause bacteria to get into my bloodstream. Both are performed in a clinic environment. One can be done but the other can't. If it's a matter of cardiac equipment, what's so difficult about fertility clinics acquiring these items? If it's training, shouldn't they know how to respond to a cardiac incident anyway? A perfectly healthy patient undergoing an egg retrieval procedure is still at risk. What happens in the worst case scenario there?

Obviously the answer is complicated and likely I won't get a medical practitioner to answer it in the comments section of this blog (but if you are, I'd love a long-form answer!). The truth is, even the one hospital-based clinic in Ontario that was willing to perform an egg retrieval on me was still concerned about my lungs because as the doctor said, "the pulmonary team is at the other end of the building should something happen." And Mount Sinai in Toronto who informed me that a high-risk clinic would be opening in Toronto - but I'd be way down the list - told me one year ago this week that if the Conservatives got into power, many fertility services could be at risk themselves, and this particular program could end up in the garbage bin. So far, Premier Doug Ford has kept his hands out of our ovaries and uterus(es) but who knows how long that will last. All that aside, it still begs the question - why don't regular fertility clinics work with people like me?

I'm not entirely upset about the way things worked out on my end. In fact, I'm extremely thankful that our egg donor gave us 11 great embryos that we have frozen and may give us a chance to have a second child if we desire. There's no way my body could have done that. It also gives me a slight sense of detachment from the entire dish to birth journey because there's no part of me that's going to be put into another woman's womb. Is that a positive thing? Perhaps, because I'd much rather not have an attachment while she's pregnant so I can keep things logical rather than emotional in my head and heart. 

But as more and more differently-abled women desire to have their own children - some of whom may suffer from infertility - there will be a greater call for fertility clinics to be ready to handle every possible situation. We already have the system in place for women who can or choose to be pregnant but are considered high-risk. Why can't doctors, nurses and other medical staff be ready to handle those of us high-riskers who require IVF? When are things going to change? 

I'll let you ponder that question while we get our messy apartment ready for Kay's visit and I mentally prepare for my brand new job. 

NOTE: Stay tuned for news about a new, yet-to-be-named podcast in the making. I'm teaming up with another Toronto-based intended parent to explore all aspects of surrogacy and hear from surrogates themselves. Want to be on our podcast? Send us a note! Full details will be posted in the coming weeks!